Are you frustrated because you can’t make it past a monthly or weekly streak – or even a daily dose of porn? Perhaps it’s time to ask yourself what porn addiction signs you should take seriously. Is a meaningful relationship falling apart? Please take just ten minutes to consider if you’re addicted to porn.
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Dr. Gail Dines calls porn a “public health harm” for good reason. Today’s easy access to internet porn is a far cry from 1953, when Playboy magazine sold 54k copies in a year. Now a filthy rich predatory porn industry hooks people into binge-watching porn.
For example, in 2019, a singular major porn site averaged 80k visitors per minute! Statista notes that 20% of all mobile internet searches are for pornography. Also, NIH reports these survey results: “…roughly 11% of men and 3% of women” self-reported that they felt addicted porn. (Pre-pandemic porn stats – outdated!)
To help you self-assess, we’ve summarized the top 10 porn addiction symptoms and are providing a simple porn addiction quiz for you at the end of this article. You’ll also find positive, proven steps to help you regain control of your life.
How do you know if you have a porn addiction?
Like our friend Brad, you may suspect you have an ongoing, growing porn addiction that is spiraling out of control. “It really wasn’t until college that I started to understand that I was truly addicted, and that I needed help,” says Brad.
Truthfully, porn addiction is not currently classified as a behavioral addiction in standard psychological tools like the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM),
However, the World Health Organization (WHO) recently added compulsive sexual behavior disorders to their ICD-11, a diagnostic tool used by many therapists and mental health counselors. A growing number of therapists see similarities between compulsive sexual behavior disorders and self-reported signs of porn addiction.
Some researchers report that porn stimulates the brain’s pleasure center and releases the same chemicals in the brain that occur during other addictive behaviors. Even though occasional porn viewing may not be addictive, it opens the door for a potential porn addiction.
We also know: “Neurons that fire together wire together” (Hebb’s rule). Repeated habits create well-worn pathways in our brains.
In this article, references to porn addiction should be considered as self-reported and self-assessed. In other words, it’s up to you and possibly a licensed mental health professional to examine your habits and decide if you display porn addiction symptoms.
Sadly, symptoms of porn addiction are often ignored until an important relationship falls apart, or there is a significant consequence as a direct result of porn use.
With this in mind, consider the first 8 signs of compulsive sexual behavior disorder adapted from the ICD-11. The remaining two signs are compiled from therapy sites.
Top 10 potential porn addiction signs
- A persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual behaviors (like masturbating to porn).
- Repetitive sexual behaviors (pornography use) become a central focus in someone’s life to the point you neglect your health (sleep, exercise, proper nutrition) and personal care, or other interests, activities and responsibilities.
- Numerous unsuccessful efforts to control or significantly reduce repeated sexual behaviors like porn use. “I thought that pornography was something I could control. It was something I could stop whenever I wanted.” – Brad
- Despite hard negative consequences like marital conflict and financial or legal consequences, you continue to engage in pornography use.
- Repetitive sexual behaviors continue even when you’re sick of your porn use and don’t really enjoy it anymore.
- Patterns of failure to control repetitive sexual behavior shows up over an extended period of time (e.g., 6 months or more).
- Habitual failure to control intense, repetitive sexual behavior isn’t due to another mental disorder (e.g., Manic Episode) or other medical condition.
- Repetitive porn use results in distress /or significantly impaired function in personal, family, social, educational, work, or other important areas of life. “Distress that is entirely related to moral judgments and disapproval about sexual impulses, urges, or behaviors is not sufficient to meet this requirement”. -The ICD-11
- You’ve repeatedly lied about the amount of porn consumed or hid the amount of money spent on pornography.
- Loss of enjoyment and lack of interest in real sex with your partner/spouse, unrelated to medical issues.
Lesser known porn addiction symptoms
Using porn as unhealthy coping mechanism
Porn addiction is often an unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with past traumas including past sexual abuse. Sexual addiction and porn addiction quizzes compiled by mental health practices commonly ask: were you ever physically or sexually abused?
Intimacy anorexia – lack of emotional connection to your spouse or partner
Real intimacy involves being able to connect with your partner emotionally. If you were hooked on porn in your teens or even earlier, key healthy emotional and sexual scripts (how you think about sex and love) could be abnormally rewired by porn use which harms young developing brains.
Dr. Douglas Weiss describes 5 signs of intimacy anorexia, as a behavioral addiction also linked to porn addiction symptoms. With guidance, understanding, hard work, and patience, intimacy anorexia can be overcome.
Controlling behavior – a different kind of “control freak”
Porn teaches users a deadly lie that people are objects to be used at a whim or the tap of a screen.
“When you are by yourself masturbating to images, there is no one else to satisfy, no one else to consider, and you get to control the entire scene. The set-up, the romance, the rituals, the climax are in your power.” Dr. Andrew Baumann, LMHC, labels this control as a pornographic style of relating.
A person with this symptom of porn addiction often lacks self-awareness of their subtle or overtly controlling acts of entitlement and selfishness in a relationship.
Objectification of people anywhere you go
Is your internal thought life dark, angrier, and more violent than you care to admit?
Cole found himself in this disturbing state of mind before committing to porn recovery.
“I started looking differently at people in the gym – and it scared me.”
An anonymous Reddit user says she notices when her boyfriend does “the scan” as they’re hanging out with friends. She bravely confronted his behavior. While he admits to engaging in this behavior, it’s an ongoing sore spot in their relationship.
How porn addiction affects mental health
Depression and porn addiction links
While psychologists still debate whether porn addiction and depression are linked, a growing number of our app users clearly state their porn addiction fed their struggle with depression.
“I found a reason to live again,” says Cole, elated by his unexpected mental health benefits on his porn recovery journey. He found relief from suicidal ideations and a renewed purpose.
Rachael also mentions being “incredibly depressed” during her teen years specifically due to her struggle with porn. After finding freedom from porn addiction, she notes that her brain fog gradually lifted.
Now ongoing data matches the lived experiences of our accountability app users, like a recent NIH study with findings linking porn addiction symptoms with depression.
Loneliness – a painful, spiraling symptom of porn addiction
Strange as it seems,U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy notes that we’re in a “loneliness epidemic”. While technology connects us globally, rich personal connections and authentic supportive friendships are much harder to find.
Not surprisingly, problematic porn use and chronic loneliness go hand in hand. Porn use creates a shame spiral making it difficult to ask for help. Author and therapist Sam Jolman describes getting caught watching porn by his mom and sister, “I might as well have just walked naked on stage to a …packed arena.” – The Sex Talk You Never Got
Loneliness also creates another shame spiral, notes Yale University: “People become chronically lonely, they become less confident to socially interact and think it’s their fault they can’t connect with others, which leads to shame, which leads to more loneliness. It becomes a spiral.
Self-esteem, body dysmorphia, and male eating disorders linked to porn addiction
While our customers have reported poor body image and low self-esteem from porn use, an NIH study concludes that the worst is yet to come:
“We can expect severe consequences of the Internet pornography exposure and addiction at approximately from 10 to 30 years from now, when generations mostly affected by pornography consumption will experience body image dissatisfaction at their middle age or later, which may influence future epidemic of mental disorders mainly depression and anxiety, and increased suicidal tendencies in population.”
Recently, there’s been a notable rise in male eating disorders. Dr. Gewirtz-Meydan and others link eating disorder symptoms as another harm of potential porn addiction, or problematic porn use as she labels it.
“To reduce the risk of developing or worsening eating disorder symptoms, clinicians working with male clients should assess for problematic pornography use and body image concerns during therapy.” – ScienceDirect.com
5 steps to get help if you think you show signs of porn addiction
“I knew at that moment (when his wife found him using porn) I had to conquer my addiction or my addiction would conquer me.” – Brad, successful Ever Accountable porn fighter
1. Talk to a loved one.
Often the first initial “porn conversation” may be tough. But it’s crucial for success in breaking a bad habit to name it clearly and confront it honestly. Check out this post for pro-tips from a family psychologist on how to talk to your spouse or partner about porn.
2. Find an accountability partner.
Next, open up and ask for help from a trusted friend who you believe can also mentor you in this area. Or, at very least, they need to kindly hold you to your goals when porn addiction withdrawal symptoms or discouragement sets in.
3. Use an accountability app.
Most of your porn addiction temptations occur online, so you need robust online protection for weak moments. Better than using a porn blocker alone, an accountability app:
- Provides a boundary around porn use on your daily devices: “The fact that I just could not get ahold of porn and the boundary that the Ever Accountable app gives, helped me more than I can put into words.” – Jaco
- Creates an opportunity to connect with someone who will hold you accountable and help you stick to your goal of a porn-free life – Eric calls this “the human element.”
- Sets you up for quick wins as you become more self-aware and realize you don’t want anyone else to see you’ve been looking at porn
4. Choose counseling and therapy tailored specifically to sex and porn addiction.
Do the symptoms of porn addiction match your experience in many ways? A sex addiction therapist can help you break free much faster. Some therapists and psychologists recognize the similarities between porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior disorders. With their expert guidance, you’ll have needed support to get through the porn addiction withdrawal process and thrive.
In fact, we’ve even heard from our app users that some therapists and porn addiction counselors are “prescribing” the use of an accountability app for the porn addiction recovery process.
5. Connect with supportive community – faith-based or not
Check out Small Groups Online for excellent faith-based community support. Those who succeed in quitting porn agree. A key to their success was finding support from others also on a porn addiction recovery journey.
“I have been held by people around me who are willing to hold me accountable, who say, ‘Keep traveling. You’ll get there. The addiction doesn’t define you. There’s gonna be a better day ahead’.” – Brad’s story
Also, consider The Pxrn Coach, among others, who offers a supportive community and online coaching program that’s not specifically faith-based.
What is your next step toward freedom? After taking the simple quiz below, who could you talk to about the results? Carpe Deum! Seize the day.
You can start with a community group, call a friend or trusted family member, and download accountability software to get started right away. As our friend Amu loves to say, Freedom. Is. Possible!
How do you know if you have a porn addiction: a porn addiction symptoms quiz
- Do you frequently lose track of time when you’re watching porn?
- If you can’t watch porn on any given day, do you feel deprived or irritable?
- Do you ever lie about the amount of porn you watch?
- Does your pornography use interfere with your relationships, schooling, or work?
- Do you turn down social invitations or even family events to view pornography instead?
- Were you exposed to porn at a young age, and have tried and failed to quit pornography multiple times?
- When you cut back on your pornography use, do you feel agitated or irritable?
- Do you feel anxious, guilty, or sad about watching porn?
- Do you ever do anything illegal to access pornography?
- Are you watching increasing amounts of porn on the internet?
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*The Ever Accountable blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or therapy, though we often link to medically reviewed studies.
Works Cited
Bauman, Andrew. The Healthy Man – Andrew J Bauman, https://andrewjbauman.com/. Accessed 1 October 2024.
Buchholz, Katharina. “Infographic: How Much of the Internet Consists of Porn?” Statista, 11 February 2019, https://www.statista.com/chart/16959/share-of-the-internet-that-is-porn/. Accessed 1 October 2024.
“Eating-Disorders-in-Men-Are-on-the-RiseWhat-You-Need-to-Know.” Texas Health Resources, 27 January 2022, https://www.texashealth.org/areyouawellbeing/Mens-Health/Eating-Disorders-in-Men-Are-on-the-RiseWhat-You-Need-to-Know. Accessed 1 October 2024.
Gewirtz-Meydan, Ateret, and Zohar Spivak-Lavi. “The association between problematic pornography use and eating disorder symptoms among heterosexual and sexual minority men.” https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1740144523000402?via%3Dihub.
Grubbs, Joshua B. “Self-reported addiction to pornography in a nationally representative sample: The roles of use habits, religiousness, and moral incongruence.” NCBI, 2019, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7044607/. Accessed 1 October 2024.
“Help for Porn Addiction – How it Destroys Emotional Awareness and Social Connections with a Growing Adolescent Brain.” Family Strategies Counseling Center, https://familystrategies.org/Help-for-Porn-Addiction-How-it-Destroys-Emotional-Awareness-and-Social-Connections-with-a-Growing-Ad.html. Accessed 1 October 2024.
“ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics.” ICD-11, https://icd.who.int/browse/2024-01/mms/en#1630268048. Accessed 1 October 2024.
Patrick, Wendy L. “The Link Between Pornography and Loneliness.” Psychology Today, 27 September 2021, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202109/the-link-between-pornography-and-loneliness. Accessed 1 October 2024.
Privara, Michal, and Petr Bob. “Pornography Consumption and Cognitive-Affective Distress – PMC.” NCBI, 28 July 2023, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10399954/. Accessed 1 October 2024.
